Saturday, December 29, 2007

jet stories from yesterday's past

on my flight home from washington a couple of weeks ago* I sat in front of an interesting dude. Mosiah was a 37 year old self proclaimed punkster dressed in all black with a bright red mohawk that stood about a foot high.

He made quick friends with the stewardess who asked about his music because her son loved what she referred to as punk music. How that came up I don't really know, maybe it was the all black clothing, tats or red hair? Anyway, after going on and on about being famous he shut his trap for a couple minutes.

Then began the conversation with the man sitting next to him. Let it be known that I was by no means intentionally ease dropping. I could not sleep and I was at present unable to do anything else as I was unable to use personal electronic devices. Anyway turns out that the guy was from Washington and was just heading back for some tests. He claimed to be having what is called "deja vu." Or symptoms similar to the experience we call deja vu. Incidently this man, who who we shall refer to as "deja," instantly fell in love with this much older man. The love was pure and simple adoration from one man to another and was not weird in any sort of way.

Although I did consider it odd. What was odd about it? Maybe it was the punks elevated mohawk. Maybe it was the striking colors. I'm sure that it was not natural. Maybe it was the ease with which complete strangers shared the most intimate details of their lives. After having painfully endured what seemed like an eternity of the man on man emo fest - I ran from the plane ahead of the two men.

Upon getting my bags I found myself waiting for my ride. Upon waiting, I made my last of several peculiar observations: I saw and heard "deja" on his cell telling his friend with elation, "I just met the most interesting man....."

*the previous experience occured in September 2007

I don't know about you but I can barely sing forwards....

Thursday, December 13, 2007


havent learned anything in awhile? well maybe you should learn about the federal reserve system. what it is, what it isnt and why its all gonna burn. eventually

watch me:

points to consider

How would you make your marriage work?
Tell your wife that she looks pretty, even if she looks like a truck.
Ricky, age 10

How can a stranger tell if two people are married?
You might have to guess, based on whether they seem to be yelling at the same kids.
Derrick, age 8

What do you think your mom and dad have in common?
Both don’t want any more kids.
Lori, age 8

What do most people do on a date?
Dates are for having fun, and people should use them to get to know each other. Even boys have something to say if you listen long enough.
Lynnette, age 8 (isn’t she a treasure?)

On the first date, they just tell each other lies and that usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date.
Martin, age 10

What would you do on a first date that was turning sour?
I’d run home and play dead. The next day I would call all the newspapers and make sure they wrote about me in all the dead columns.
Craig, age 9

When is it okay to kiss someone?
When they’re rich.
Pam, age 7

The law says you have to be eighteen, so I wouldn’t want to mess with that.
Curt, age 7

The rule goes like this: If you kiss someone, then you should marry them and have kids with them. It’s the right thing to do.
Howard, age 8

What is the right age to get married?
Twenty-three is the best age because you know the person FOREVER by then.
Camille, age 10

No age is good to get married at. You got to be a fool to get married.
Freddie, age 6 (very wise for his age)

Is it better to be single or married?
I don’t know which is better, but I’ll tell you one thing. I’m never going to have sex with my wife. I don’t want to be all grossed out.
Theodore, age 8

It’s better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need someone to clean up after them.
Anita, age 9 (bless you child)

How do you decide whom to marry?
You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like, if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the chips and dip coming.
Alan, age 10

No person really decides before they grow up who they’re going to marry. God decides it all way before, and you get to find out later who you’re stuck with.
Kristen, age 10


Hockey goals are 6 feet wide and 4 feet tall. Why not just find some absurdly obese man and fill the net. Actually this question has already been researched in quite a bit of detail by Todd Gallagher of the Wall Street Journal. He concludes:

after much research, including making a fat suit that resembled the build of the fattest man on earth (a waist of 122 inches), he goes on to say

.............if there was a team that was more concerned with winning than with their reputation, and if they could find a genetic marvel, a man pushing 2,000 pounds who's fatter than anyone the world has ever seen, who could survive making it onto the ice and withstand the pain of frozen hockey pucks being fired off his exposed body, and if that team could then win a legal battle against the NHL, and if the players didn't go on strike over the matter or beat the rotund goalie to death on the ice, that historically obese man could be a cost-efficient and effective goaltender. But what are the chances of that wondrous hog existing, and events unfolding in such a way? Pretty slim.

Tuesday, December 11, 2007


hear of any good jobs lately? let me know.

Sunday, September 30, 2007

i live for conspiracies.

defined: A secret agreement between two or more people to perform an unlawful act

conspiracies that i believe in


corporations behind such conspiracies

gm chevron
Philip morris (Nabisco, craft, tobacco)
Pfizer johnson and johnson

truths which explain these conspiracies

power and money
intelligence power and money
ignorance intelligence power and money

I believe in conspiracies. They do exist and affect our lives. At the heart of each one of these conspiracies is selfishness.

I won't delve into 9.11 but I do believe that those who were in power positions at the time of the "attacks" are responsible.

Much of the current global warming problem is due to fossil fuels. Billions if not trillions of dollars are at stake if the current transportation methods were made obsolete. The manufacturing of electric cars has been feasible for several decades now and at one point they were manufactured. However at that point they were only leased out and were never sold? Why? The documentary: who killed the electric car? may help you answer that question.

This week I was at a presentation in which a doctor related his experiences as a director of a drug recovery clinic which has a 90% success rate. He explained that toxins from drugs get stuck in the adipose or fat tissue of individuals and that the only way to get those toxins out of that tissue is through stick diet, discipline and abstinence. Through his 8 week program many have recovered. He believes that much of the money made from processed foods is due to consumers becoming addicted to the substances contained therein. The fact that Philip Morris owns both kraft and Nabisco makes you wonder if there is much of a distinction in being addicted to cigarettes or certain processed foods.

Lastly, and this is purely my opinion, much of science is hindered by the political processes surrounding the advancement of science. For example, currently the development of a drug from initial stages of development to the prescription market takes a decade or two can costs billions of dollars. Society is unable to benefit from many advances in science due to unreasonable barriers to entry in both cost and time.

Sunday, May 27, 2007


The following includes pics of angels landing which overlooks the entire park (pic 1 and 2) as well as a diagram (pic 5) which outline's how we missed hiking west temple and actually hiked Mt. Kinesava. It was still a super hike but it was not what we intended. Also included is a picture of Josh and I at the beginning of hiking the narrows (pic 3). Enjoy.

Side note: Hiking up a river for 4 hours in flip flops may result in a bloody foot. I'm pretty sure this has never been before, not because it can't be done but because no one has been stupid enough to inflict themselves in such a manner.


Friday, May 18, 2007


this is not a post. do not keep reading. you have been forewarned..... please see lick te he he link under friends and fam for our attempt of west temple at zions. fortunately for us, a misguided attempt.

Wednesday, April 25, 2007

once again. round and round we go

so it has happened once again. somehow for some reason i had to talk to my boss agian. So it goes. Anyway, so one of my co-workers was taking a quiz for work and this other girl, previously mentioned as the super annoying chic, comes up and starts telling her all these answers. which are completely incorrect, which I pointed out. She quickly retorted that I was very prideful, but not in a nice way, it was more of an explosion. So yeah, there was a little banter back and forth and I ended up asking her if it was that time of the month.

Long story short, she runs off and talks to the boss again and then I have to talk to the boss where he informs me that next time there will be dicsiplinary action taken. Oh no, not disciplinary action. just kidding, this is all very serious. But i told the boss that I didnt actually initially talk to her and this was main concern in our first discussion that I never initially talked to her and she went out of her way to annoy me and that he should tell her that she should stop going out of her way. anyway so I told him to talk to her again, as obviously she still did not understand. Evidently he has talked to her because there haven't really been any issues since. The good news is that I am now on my week on week off schedule and she works on the opposite weeks, so once she starts her schedule it should all be good. i pray she starts on her schedule soon.

Thursday, March 29, 2007

sexual harassment

So I have been sexually harassed repeatedly over the last few weeks. Naturally men take it differently than women, and I really wasn't that offended at first. Initially it was innocent ribbing between supposed acquaintance's. Over the course of several weeks, however, it become very offensive. An elaboration might help.

There exist two women where I work, who will remain nameless for the time being, who have thought that we were very good friends. Good friends enough for one woman to suggest to me, that I should make out with her friend (with this friend present mind you) several times a day. It was related on numerous occasions that such a proposal was unacceptable and undesirable. Essentially every time the proposal was suggested it was shutdown on the spot, so as to destroy any hope for any future make out. She would be lucky to get a hand shake. To make matters worse, the woman who was being proposed by her friend was very undesirable in every way. Not that I would really agree to such a proposal at work regardless, it was just that I never spoke this woman because she was always attacking me, even though I never instigated such attacks. Regardless, after many fruitless attempts for said proposals to cease, and also for the other woman to stop attacking me I finally broke. It was required of me to repeat in a stern voice several times for the woman making the proposition to stop making such proposals and to cease them immediately as they were found very far from acceptable. Having sensed partially victory after having dealt with one of women, I turned to the proposee and voiced my opinion that she cease from her attacks and all attempts at conversation with me as they were received as offensive and inappropriate.

Needless to say I will not know the real results of my actions for several weeks. The first woman ran away realizing that she may have made a grave mistake in insisting that I and her friend make out despite my previous repeated attempts that we would not, nor would we ever. After requesting the proposee several times that she cease from all attempts I asked her if she understood what I was asking. I asked it several times, in a stern manner so she knew I was serious. She replied several times that she did not understand. I then told her that if she did not understand I would have to have someone else make her understand, namely my boss. This didn't sit too well I suppose, as she immediately ran away to go talk with my boss before I got to him first. I'm not actually too sure if I was actually going to talk to him anyway, but I had to now.

So then I had to go talk to my boss about what happened. Basically I just repeated the above. The boss related some interesting points that I thought were interesting afterword. He mentioned that I should use such language as 'harass' with caution. A word to the wise he said, "use the word harass sparingly, it kind of raises a red flag." That's what I wanted, I was raising a red flag, I'm being harassed, it's not stopping, it needs to end! If I had been a woman someone would have been fired today. But being a man, it was assumed that not only was I not being harassed, but it was my fault. I don't really care what happens with all this as long as it doesn't happen again.

Monday, March 26, 2007

go this way, over here, thats right

i went for a walk today. I went over a freeway. I looped around and saw some things ive never seen. different houses different people, dogs, kids. then i came back around and went under the freeway. every time i go on a walk i try to go a new way, knowing somehow ill make it back.

Monday, February 19, 2007

quality phone pics

shiny toy guns. sundance at park city. ive seen them 3 times in 10 months and i still cant get enough. im still in love.

thats me in a porsche at the auto show. lets be honest its probably the only time id get to sit in one. they wont just let you test drive these man toys. trust me ive tried.

Sunday, February 11, 2007


sorry rachel this picture is better than yours. liz got mad at me, spontaneously. i dont know what i did to deserve this

Thursday, February 08, 2007


so as host of the upcoming family festivities, i propose monster jam on friday at 7 pm. i can get tickets for 10 or 12 bucks and they are regular 16 or 18. as far as i know the wedding on saturday is going to take pretty much all day so that takes up that day. monday is open as well, if anyone is sticking around ill probably go snowboarding at brighton, i can get anyone a ticket there for 40 its regularly 47. i feel like these are good ideas, im pretty sure everyone already has times that they are getting here and times they are leaving but i just thought id throw these ideas out there to see what works. let me know

Friday, January 19, 2007

cheese pizza

I start my new job on monday at ARUP laboratories working in the molecular infectious disease department. Actually I have to do an orientation for about a day and a half and then more paper work and then I probably start training the following week. So because I was offered this position about a week and a half ago, I decided not to deliver pizza. I'll probably work some other job on my off weeks. I will work 7 days on 7 days off from 7-5.30, tuesdays through monday. So I may be able to take some trips and also get another job, I'm not really sure at this point, all I know is that I only work 26 weeks of the year. The hope is that I can find a travel partner with this same schedule and we can tour the world. If anyone is interested please let me know. My people will contact your people.

Wednesday, January 10, 2007

black friday profits


1025 +101.71= 1126.71

Total shipping costs: 116


Gross received – (sold products + shipping) = profit

1126.71-(820+116) =190.71

Real profit

Profit minus products purchased

190.71 – (75+55) = 60.71

Minus additional ebay fees

60.71 – 40 = 20.71

So all in all I would say it was a good black friday. Sales paid for my hard drives I bought plus I got twenty bucks plus I felt like I was doing something semi-productive. In other news I recently acquired a pass at brighton and I will start working at Papa Johns next week. I guess things just fall into place when your a college grad. They even offered me a GM position at Papa Johns but I don't know if thats really the direction I want to go with my life. For now I snowboard the perfect powder of Utah and deliver pizza part-time. I'd like to think I know what I'm doing but really I just want to pull off a nasty mctwist.

*If I wouldn't have kept any of the merchandise profits would be about 180*

Saturday, January 06, 2007